On Her Way Up

WARNING: I will be nostalgic for at least the next 21 days...

So, one year ago, I was lying in a bed in NJ with 13 hours and 11 minutes to go until our plane left for China. The wind was blowing at hurricane force. I would lie awake for most of the night listening to it rattle the house and whip through the trees. We had two suitcases - one filled with a few articles of clothing for each of us, one filled with bandages and underwear and other practical items to give to the orphanage and little dresses and pants and coats and blankets and toys and diapers for the daughter we were going to meet.

Today, Cate climbed the rock wall at our gym. Strapped in a harness, suspended by a rope, she climbed while her brother looked on nervously and said quietly to me, "I don't know about this," and said loudly to the climbing instructors, "That's my sister. She sure is brave for a baby."

Alex has taken to climbing. Today, for the first time, he climbed to the top of the two story rock wall and rang the bell. He did this not just once, but three times. Each time he was cheered on by his sister, and each time lowered slowly to the ground by the instructors - nothing but pride written across his face. Cate and I sat and watched. "She doesn't want to climb?" they asked me. I said she was only three. They said there was no age requirement. I asked her if she wanted to climb. She jumped off the bench and the next thing I knew, she was in a harness, tethered to a cool young rock climbing guy and feeling her way up the rock wall. "Wow. She is confident for a little kid," one of them said.

I watched her - brave, determined - the wall such a metaphor for her life.

"A year ago today we left Cooperstown to go to China to bring her home," I said. I didn't expect them to comment. I didn't expect them to care, but someone had to share my moment. And for a couple of cool outdoorsy guys in their twenties, they did a great job at appreciating the unique amazement that is Cate.

She climbed about a quarter of the way up the wall and then she was done. The English required to instruct her how to let go of the rock, to hold the rope, to trust as she was lowered slowly to the floor, was a bit advanced. It took some time. But she did it. She took off the harness and ran back to me with pure glee written across her face. I saw the same look cross her brother's face as he looked at her and then quickly scurried back to the harness for another chance of his own. In this past week, he has read his first book, earned his first card in swimming and reached the top of the rock wall. A week like this will not be easily topped.

In this year, I have flown to China, climbed the Great Wall, gained a beautiful daughter, and built a family. A year like this will not be easily topped.

So be prepared for a week of reminiscence. My heart is back in China while I watch in amazement as our life unfolds here.

At dinner, my finicky, unhealthy eater-girl ate a strawberry without being asked. She tasted a sugar snap pea and asked for a carrot. We all cheered wildly.

As I tucked my baby in to bed tonight, I said to her, as I do every night, "Wan an, Xi Xi. Wo ai ni."

"I Cate. Xi Xi China, " she said. "Wo ai ni, Mama. Open door a little."

"The cats will get in," I reminded her.

"I like cats, Mama," said the girl who shuttered at the sight of them just last week.

I imagined her a year ago as the strong wind blew through the night. This, my amazing, rock-climbing, vegetable-eating Cate-Xi who sleeps with her door wide open because she is no longer afraid of cats.